Where Do You Fall?
Have you ever wondered what type of parent you are?? It’s likely something that has never crossed your mind, but learning about the different parenting styles can be very eye opening. There are three main types of parenting styles. Our parenting styles all vary and can be influenced by cultural, societal and individual factors. The ideal approach often involves finding a balance that suits both the parents’ values and the child’s needs, promoting a positive and nurturing environment for healthy child development.
The first parenting style is known as Authoritarian Parenting. This style is high on demands and low on response, otherwise known as a Brick Wall Parent. Examples that describe this are, “Do as I say”, “Because I said so”, or “What did you do?”, “Why did you do that?” These all raise walls and close the line of communication. This will tend to put somebody into the “fight or flight” reaction.
The second style is referred to as Permissive Parenting or Jellyfish Parenting. With this style of parenting, there are no clear boundaries as a jellyfish parent will not mean what they say or follow through. A jellyfish parent will do anything to keep the peace which means there is no solid teaching. When we send our children out into the world, it will be harder for them to cope with disappointment. Another problem with this type of parenting is there is too much emphasis on wanting to be your child’s friend. Children need our roles as their parents to stay well-defined throughout life. We need to set expectations and boundaries. We want to parent with love, warmth and respect but also with clear boundaries and expectations. Jellyfish parents also like to believe that “this is a stage and so it will pass”. The problem with this is that we then miss out on many teachable moments.
The third style is known as Authoritative Parenting or Backbone Parenting: This type of parent is high on demands and high on response. Backbone parents will provide clear tools. This is the style we are always working towards being. It is a lifetime investment and there are many rewards along the way. When we parent this way we give this message: I trust in you, I have faith in what you can do, and I am here for you. There is flexibility and consistency. There is also the principle of firm and fair.
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