Validation

My Favorite Tool.

Validate! Validate! Validate! One of the most important tools I teach parents is to validate their children’s feelings.  Validation is a core need for all humans, not just children.  But when it comes to our children, whether their choice was good or bad, they have feelings that go along with the choices they make and the behaviors they display.  Whether we agree with their choices or not, validation helps in many ways.  

Validation helps reduce 50% of a child’s angst.  In a tough situation, our validation is telling our child, “I hear you”, “I know this is hard”, “I am here”, “let’s work through this together”.  It takes away the defense even when the child may know that they made the wrong choice. 

Validation in children plays a pivotal role in their emotional development, communication skills, empathy, self-esteem, and overall well-being. By giving validation, we help children develop into emotionally resilient and well-adjusted individuals.

Examples of validation:

“I know you are upset that your brother took your toy from you.  That’s hard, I would be upset too…. But, I can not let you hit him.”  In this scenario, there is discipline needed, but the validation must come first.  

“I know you’re sad that you didn’t score a goal.  That can be disappointing, but you ran so hard for that whole game! You put so much effort into it and you should be so proud of yourself.”  Here, we are validating feelings while showing them that it is not the outcome that matters, but more the effort put into a situation. 

With consistency, you should notice significant changes in the trust, communication and bond between you and your child!